With few things in this life less obvious than a love song, you have to give credit to the writer who brings something new to a subject exploited more frequently than a woman with father issues. After all, there is such a fine line between a song that stirs your soul to one that makes you feel the way a male model might about his first week in prison.

Striding the right side of that line is the often inspiring Smog, most of whose fantasies involve making someone else cum. This sort of line might come across as crass at closing time at the bar, but our man convinces of his need to simply be of use: like a spindle, like a candle, like horseshoe, or like a corkscrew.

Smog – To Be of Use (right click to download) 5:41 mins/ 160 kbps/ 6.52MB

Download audio file (smog - to be of use.mp3)

I know that many people search music blogs as a way to help make themselves more hip, so I thought I’d cut to the chase and post an all out instructional tape on the subject.  Recorded by Del Close and John Brent for Mercury Records in 1959, this tongue-in-cheek record was no doubt taken seriously by more than a few wannabe hipsters.

Still, as it never hurts to brush up on the fundamentals, here’s an edited copy of the album for stream or download. Don’t be a drag, baby. Dig it!

Del Close and John Brent – How to Speak Hip (right click to download) 20:00 mins/ 256 kbps/ 36.62MB

Download audio file (del close_john brent - how to speak hip.mp3)

Even being as big a Prince fan as Christians are of Jesus, I admit that D’Angelo clears the bar Prince set in all but one very important way: his debut was fifteen years ago, and his only follow-up was released when the Twin Towers were still standing. When Prince was at the same point in his career he had 17 albums released and a rumored thousand more songs in his infamous vault. Add to that 3 feature films and two theatrically released concert films, and one is reminded of a comment Woody Allen once made: “It’s not the quantity of your sexual relations that counts, it’s the quality. On the other hand if the quantity drops below once every eight months, I would definitely look into it”.

That said, with rumors of an impending double album including a collaboration with Prince himself, D’Angelo is parlaying his lack of output into the sort of hype that preempts a Terrance Malick film or a lunar eclipse, and with the darkly themed “1,000 Deaths” recently leaked, it becomes easy to assume that the album will take some interesting directions and even be worth the long, if not frustrating, wait.

D’Angelo – 1,000 Deaths (right click to download) 6:56 mins/ 192 kbps/ 9.58MB

Download audio file (d'angelo - 1000 deaths.mp3)

Dear Captain Zissou,

I am 11 and half years old and live in Jawbone, Kentucky.A creek runs behind our house where I live with my mother. She met you once some years ago. You are probably my one of, if not the, favorite person I’ve ever studied.I plan to be either:

A – an oceanographer
B – an architect, or
C – a pilot.

Thank you very much for your good work.

Sincerely, Ned Plimpton,

Blue Star Cadet, Zissou Society.

P.S. Do you ever wish you could breathe underwater?

Mark Mothersbaugh – Ping Island Lightning Strike Rescue Op (right click to download) 4:15 mins/ 320 kbps/ 9.75MB

Download audio file (mark mothersbaugh - ping island lightning strike rescue op.mp3)

Bobby Conn applies a Jackson 5 inspired rhythm and string section to this cautionary tale about the compromises one must endure along the road to success. That said, his assertion that you’re never going to get ahead by giving head to the man is probably more morally than factually sound.

Bobby Conn – Never Gonna Get Ahead (right click to download) 3:42 mins/ 160 kbps/ 4.25MB

Download audio file (bobby conn - never get ahead.mp3)

ailing from St. Pauls, Minneapolis, the birthplace of Prince, production duo No Regular Play makes no attempt to hide their affinity for Uptown’s favorite son. With altered vocals and a washed out backing track, Wolf and Lamb labelmate Nicolas Jaar provides a dense and dramatic remix that makes no attempt to compete with the original.

No Regular Play – Owe Me (Nicholas Jaar Remix) (right click to download) 6:26 mins/ 320 kbps/ 14.7MB

Download audio file (no regular play - owe me (nicolas jaar mix).mp3)

Additionally, Jaar’s Michael Jackson reinterpretation is one of a number of songs available for free on the Wolf and Lamb website.

Nicholas Jaar – Billie Jean (Nico Rework) (right click to download) 4:26 mins/ 320 kbps/ 10.2MB

Download audio file (nicolas jaar - billie jean (nico rework).mp3)

His name is Bobby. Bobby De Niro. He’s a lovely person, and a very good actor.

Adam & Joe – The Robert De Niro Calypso (right click to download) 2:10 mins/ 192 kbps/ 2.99MB

Download audio file (adam and joe - robert deniro calypso.mp3)

While a decision was made upon this blog’s inception to stick strictly to music and not splinter off into weightier topics like philosophy or politics, I seek a reprieve this Valentines Day with an issue that encompasses a bit of both. I’m writing, of course, about how people don’t slow dance at clubs anymore. Like the unfortunate phasing out of bench seats in automobiles or dueling to settle a grievance, our generation forgoing the slow dance strikes me less like a cultural evolution as it does a misguided regression by a society that has lost its way.

It might sound fantastical to readers born post Purple Rain, but it wasn’t so long ago that a DJ would pitch things down and play a ballad at peak hour, and why not? It’s well recognized, if not largely unspoken, that an establishment can charge eight dollars for an ounce of down-market alcohol in exchange for creating an opportunity for semi-consensual human contact. So why have we forsaken an imbedded social custom whereby a simple change in music would speed this process along?

Perhaps it’s a cultural shift from those of us raised in an era where sexuality was presented bathed in blue light and accompanied by a saxophone solo on scrambled pay per view, to a generation whose visual representation of sex comes by way of sallow pornography made on the brutally honest medium of digital video. For all of the drawbacks of prudishness, maybe having a bit of shame about sex forces one to be more seductive when asking for it. Or maybe we’re just living through the blowback from rave culture and the libido crushing stimulants that traded the ritual of a slow dance for a 90 minute shoulder rub in the “chill-out room” like members of a benign, sexless cult.

Whatever the reason, I’d like to take this day of romance to offer a plea to those responsible to drop a few ballads at the club so we can all get a bit of touch. The following is a slow dance starter kit, a selection which also makes for a compelling Valentines Day mix whether you’re celebrating with a long time partner, courting someone new, or are at home alone, cutting yourself to recapture an ex-lover’s fancy.

Winter Family – Garden
Soko – I Will Never Love You More
The Velvet Underground – Some Kinda Love (Closet Mix)
Tommy James & the Shondells – Crimson & Clover
Jane Birkin & Serge Gainsbourg – Je t’aime moi non plus
Beach Boys – Disney Girls
Hall & Oates – I’m Just A Kid (Don’t Make Me Feel Like A Man)
Bonnie ‘Prince’ Billy – The Way
James Carr – What Can I Call My Own
Natural Four – Can This Be Real?
Otis Redding – I’ve Been Loving You Too Long
BloodStone – Natural High
Johnny Daye – Stay Baby Stay
The Flamingos – I Only Have Eyes for You
Duke Ellington and John Coltrane – In a Sentimental Mood
Chet Baker – My Funny Valentine
Os Mutantes – Baby
shelly duvall – He Needs Me
Steve Martin & Bernadette Peters – Tonight You Belong to Me
Leo Sayer – When I Need You
Prince – International Lover
D’Angelo - Feel Like Makin’ Love
Rufus featuring Chaka Khan – Sweet Thing
Shirley Murdock – As We Lay

Electric Adolescence – Bring Back the Slow Dance (right click to download) 80:00 mins/ 256 kbps/ 146MB

Download audio file (electric adolescence - bring back the slow dance.mp3)

Forged with sense of grandeur normally reserved for period musicals and aging actresses, this obscure Balearic offering from Escape From New York is as astounding as it as impossible to classify; combining elements of new wave, disco and several other subgenres yet to be invented in 1984. With the original release near impossible to find, the reissue is only slightly less illusive as a white label pressing limited to 300 copies.

A tip of the hat goes to Konrad Black, who introduced me to the song, proving why he remains to Berlin’s techno scene what egg is to French toast.

Escape From New York – Fire In My Heart (right click to download) 5:14 mins/ 192 kbps/ 7.19MB

Download audio file (escape from new york - fire in my heart.mp3)

Providing a pitch-perfect account of one of our languages’ most intangible concepts, this impeccable folk ballad by Jason Molina under his Songs: Ohia moniker is written and performed with such sincerity that the result could bring a robot to tears.

Songs: Ohia – Soul (right click to download) 5:33 mins/ 192 kbps/ 7.63MB

Download audio file (songs ohia - soul.mp3)